Forty Terrible Mistakes You Can Make Having Sex With A Woman

By: Robert Thomson

If you thought the path to sexual bliss was straightforward, look at this list of mistakes made by men when they're having sex. If any of them seem familiar, you've got some work to do on your bedroom etiquette!

1) Going straight for her vulva, clitoris or breasts

A woman is more likely to be irritated than sexually aroused when a man goes for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes' kissing. Be aware of what she needs and touch her sexual areas only when she's sexually aroused. If you go for her breasts when you start foreplay and twiddle her nipples like you're tuning a radio station, you're not going to get a very good reception.

2) Not knowing how to kiss like a romantic

Passionate kissing is an art form which eases a couple into the main event of sex and cultivates intimacy. Learn how to kiss your woman, and do it well. That wouldn't include sticking your tongue between her teeth and wiggling it around madly.

3) Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like to have a firm touch applied to their penis. But if you approach her clitoris with the same as you apply to your penis when you're treating yourself to a quick wank, she's likely to howl with pain - and kick you out of bed. The clitoris has twice as many nerves as the penis, so it's very sensitive. Treat it accordingly.

4) Not stroking her body

A woman's biggest sex organ is her mind. The next biggest is her skin. If you were thinking of anything else, think again. For her, sex is all about making connection. And that includes skin to skin contact. An hour spent massaging her will not only get her in the mood for sex, but it will almost certainly guarantee she has an orgasm one way or another. Make sure you focus on putting your sexual energy into your fingers while you stroke. That means not thinking distractedly about the baseball game while you're oiling her up.

5) Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Tempting though it may be to lavish your oral attention on her breasts, she's not going to thank you for reminding her of the last time a teething child bit into her nipple. Kiss all around her areolae and gently work towards her nipple, gently licking it with your tongue and maybe sucking it between your lips when she's really aroused. If she likes what you're doing, you'll know by her moans of pleasure.

6) Biting or blowing on her ear because you think it's sexy

Very few women seem to find this exciting. Your time would be better spent searching out her sensitive zones elsewhere.

7) Leaving a kiss bite on her neck

If you're over the age of consent, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you're obviously under age and you shouldn't be having sex.

8) Not shaving before sex

Think back to the last time you gave oral sex to a woman with a few days' stubble around her vulva. Now imagine that brushing back and forth on your face in the erotic throes of passionate kissing. Enough said?

9) Not washing your smelly bits before you make love

Even if you just have what the French call a tart's wash, make sure you're clean when you enter the bedroom. (In case you need to know - the male tart's wash is washing your penis, balls, ass, and armpits.)

10) Forgetting that romance starts a long time before sex

Every woman wants to be appreciated. If you touch her lovingly all day, show how much you love her, and take the trouble to make sure she knows you love her, she'll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime. Leaving loving little noteswhere she'll find them is also a good idea. That doesn't include functional notes like "Don't forget to collect the dog from the vets, lots of love."

11) Inserting a finger before she's ready

Yes, we know you're a man, and we know you're obsessed with penetration. But hold on. Take your time, let events move at their own pace, and only gently put that finger up her vagina when she's ready. While men forget that women like to be entered just as much as men (which is just as well, when you think how much men like to stick things up a woman), she'll only want this when she's aroused enough to enjoy it. So as you finger her clit, you can check out her vagina. If it's moist and open, she may well be receptive to a finger on her G-spot. Start gently and apply a firmer touch as you go. If you don't know what the G-spot is, go check it out on the internet.

12) Going for her clitoris during cunnilingus or masturbation

Most women just find this annoying - and very uncomfortable too, if the clit isn't aroused and slippery. Work from around her labia, the lips of her vulva, towards the clitoris as she gets more aroused. Even then, a subtle touch along the shaft of her clitoris around to the side of the clitoral head may be better for her.

3) Stopping when she wants you to keep going at all costs

If she's almost at orgasm she certainly won't want you to stop whatever you're doing, whether it's with your penis, your fingers or your tongue. Since cunnilingus is hard on the tongue, we suggest you make sure your hands are ready in reserve if you get a bad case of cramp. If she's not saying much, she may be lying there silent because she's got lost in her excitement, not because you're licking ineffectively at her clit. But then again, how would you know? She may be loving what you're doing that she shows it by pressing her vulva more firmly against your mouth or fingers, in which case give her more of your touch. If she gives off an aura that she'd rather be cooking the dinner, you need to think of something else. Like asking her what she wants, maybe?

14) Undressing her inelegantly

Listen up guys: you don't have to take her bra off with one hand blindfold in the dark while you kiss her. Indeed, she might well appreciate it more if you don't even try. Nothing about an underwear fumble is funny, especially if it interrupts the romance. Let her take off anything you don't know about and when you do help, make it look like you're delicately removing her garments rather than pulling at her clothes like you can't wait to fuck her - even if you that's true.

15) Looking like a clown in the bedroom

Nothing is more comical to a woman than a man wearing his underpants and socks. Why this should be so remains a mystery, since it seems so natural to a man to undress like that. However, if you don't want her to take pity on you, take off your socks first.

16) Expecting her to shave for you

Yes, we know you like the shaven vulvas, but if she's not into shaving, don't try and make her do it for you. There are few things less comfortable than itchy stubble in the groin. If you want to see more and have easier access to her pussy, ask her to trim the hair.

17) Entering her without asking her first

Such a bizarre idea! And yet so nice - once in a while - to be romantic and ask "May I enter you?" This can be a very sexy and loving way to go if you're looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, you'll be in the the missionary, which, by the way, remains everyone's most popular position for sex. And then again, there are times when you can just sense the moment for penetration - but don't let your judgment be affected by how much you want to get your penis inside her. Yes, we know it feels very nice. But be a man - and make sure she's ready first.

18) Probing around her vagina with your penis if you can't get in

This will turn her off at once - guaranteed. If you can't find the way in (it happens) on your own, ask her to guide your penis in. There's no shame in that, but acting like a clown can ruin sex for you both. And anyway, think how much time you'll save if she just puts it in for you.

19) Pumping away without regard for her comfort

Now you're in! Hurrah! But where do you go from here? Vigorous thrusting? Bad idea.....surely you'll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure? So make sure you start with slow and shallow penile thrusts. When you make love, she'll like it best if you act masculine and strong: be confident, know what you're doing, be thoughtful and gentle at first, and work up to harder and more vigorous thrusts if she makes it clear that's what she wants (as in "oh, yes, fuck me harder!").

20) Expecting her to present her bottom to you when you want rear entry sex

It's a man thing, the desire for rear entry sex. Mostly. Then again, there will be times when the mood takes her and she just wants the naughty, raunchy feeling of rear entry sex. In between, you might get it on special occasions, if you're lucky. And if you do persuade her to get her ass in the air, don't make the mistake of slapping her rump like you're riding a horse.

21) Getting carried away when you have a big penis

If you happen to have a large member, restrain yourself as you thrust, or you might hear her shriek as you hit her cervix. This will not, in all likelihood, be a shriek of sexual pleasure. It may, however, signal the end of your pleasure for the moment.

22) Rapid ejaculation is not the mark of a good lover

Very few men have the endurance that allows them to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and thrusting against her G-spot. You can improve your staying-power with self help exercises, but if you just can't be bothered, at least have the decency to keep going for at least long enough to give her some pleasure. Do some research on Google for "end premature ejaculation".

23) Not coming at all - retarded ejaculation

Delayed ejaculation is not the gift of the gods that you might think. She won't see it as any kind of blessing, either, when her vagina is bone dry, she's bored out of her mind and you still aren't anywhere near ejaculating. So if you are one of the men who have trouble reaching orgasm, go see a sexual therapist! The quicker you get treated, the sooner she'll be able to enjoy making love with you and stop having plenty of time to think about her shopping list.

24) Losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you're one of the many men who find that Mr Happy goes to sleep when the condom makes an appearance, it's back to Google for you. Try a search on "losing erection when putting on a condom" and see if you can find a solutions.

25) Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

I haven't yet met a man who didn't like the idea of going down on a woman, so any doubts must be about her scent or taste. If she's a bit ripe, then suggest a shower as part of foreplay. If all you're interested in is getting her to suck your cock and you won't do the same in return, reading these tips isn't going to help you much anyway.

26) Failing to give her pleasure if you have premature ejaculation

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